Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize