so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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