It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
