I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
