Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
