Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
