I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
