No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
