it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
