why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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