SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
and you fell through a lawn chair
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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