I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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