In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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