through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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