ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
