is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
