You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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