Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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