worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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