dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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