You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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