omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
