i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
