Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
