She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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