She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
