Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
