I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
