well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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