Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
