On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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