you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
