How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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