11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Drunk is not a location!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
