none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
