So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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