His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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