who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
