i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize