Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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