Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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