3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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