Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
