Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
