remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
