What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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