he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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