hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
