I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
