CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
