I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
