I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
