I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
