hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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