dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
