dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
