Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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