Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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