I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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