It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
